


Old Panda

by permanentrose



Category: Casson Family - Hilary McKay
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 01:46:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11117304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/permanentrose/pseuds/permanentrose
Summary: Old Panda has meant something different and special to each child of the Casson Family. Takes place within Caddy's World.





	Old Panda

**Author's Note:**

> Feeling nostalgic about the Cassons tonight so I thought I'd post this fic over here on AO3. Based on Caddy's World but if you're immersed in the Casson world this can definitely function as a stand alone piece.

Old Panda had been in the family for a long while.

"Ages and ages," Saffron would say, chewing thoughtfully on a blonde curl, as if trying to remember just when the "ages" had begun.

Old Panda was like many of the other items piling up in the Casson home. Accumulated junk, Bill called it. Rose, at three, had deemed them treasures, now big enough to get herself tangled in the mischief that the cluttered Banana house offered. Every item had a story - which was why Saffron screamed when Bill would bulldoze the piles in attempts to, as he so matter-of-factly stated, complete a "mass cleanse", and Indigo would calmly explain that it was not just a holey sock but a flag of surrender when playing war with the multiplying guinea pigs in the back garden.

Old Panda had been added to the family on Caddy's fourth birthday. Eve had never been quite so good at organizing something as simple as a shopping list, let alone a party, so it had been perhaps the only one that didn't included sloppy cakes and squashed tubes of paint hurriedly, but thoughtfully, placed into gift bags. But Bill had been around more often to maintain order when it was just Caddy and the Banana house was not quite so dilapidated and the garden not so overgrown and one child is very different than four to be working with underfoot, explained Bill to a sniffly Rose every time her big blue eyes would well up as he left once again.

Caddy remembered her pink dress and white shoes mostly, white as the thick paint from the fat tube that her mother used in her garden-shed studio. The lawn was freshly trimmed and all the smells and the colors and excitement swelled around her. 

Her Aunt Linda had been there. "Saffy's mummy," Indigo would point out now what Caddy had always known but had not been acknowledged until only recently with tears and feelings of betrayal. Aunt Linda's belly was quite large and swollen with what Caddy now knew was Saffron but was nothing but an afterthought in the naivety of her young mind. 

Old Panda had been a gift from Aunt Linda, known only as Panda back in his glory days. As the afternoon gave way into dusk and the sky became dotted with stars, Caddy fell asleep in the grass amongst the pile of torn wrapping paper and the soft murmurs of adults, Old Panda pressed up on her chest.

XXX

"Old Panda is mine!" Saffron proclaimed only one week after she had invaded Caddy's room. 

Grandad had delivered Saffron with only a can of small toys and trinkets that were as grubby as the child they belonged to. Bill, who had made the trek home for the arrival of Saffron, had fussed and fussed over her ragged appearance (wasn't anyone else concerned about the state of those dungarees, and since when did three-year-old get to determine their own bathing schedule), until Eve finally climbed up to the attic to rummage for Caddy's old jumpers and blouses.

Indigo, at one, was much too little to worry much about the little blonde girl who cried for her mummy through the first few nights, and Caddy, aged seven, sensed the fragility of the situation and did not ask questions about the new occupant who now slept in her bed.

Saffron had adjusted quickly, though, fitting nicely into Caddy's old clothes and adopting her mother's twin as her own mother startlingly fast.

"No, he's mine," Caddy muttered, reaching for her panda, who was not quite white and not at all soft anymore, as Saffy bounced energetically on the bed. "And he isn't old."

" _My_ panda," Saffron insisted, plopping down the on the comforter with a thud. She kissed his worn nose affectionately. Caddy looked at her crossly, only to receive a pitiful look from Saffy's big eyes. "Please, Caddy?" This time her voice was not so demanding; rather, it was a soft whisper and Caddy could see tears welling in the corner of her eyes.

And partially because Caddy had the biggest heart of anyone, and partially because she could not bear the idea of Saffron beginning her sniveling again (and another part, though quite subconsciously on Caddy's part, gave Saffron the last piece of her mother that she could) Caddy relented, and Old Panda became Saffron's.

XXX

Old Panda was forgotten after a while and became part of the growing masses, migrating from pile to pile, burrowing deeper into the Casson clutter. It was Indigo who found him one grey winter morning.

The house was empty, though everyone was accounted for. Bill - London studio, as usual. Caddy - play date with Alison, Ruby, and Beth. Saffron - dragged (with much screaming) to Saturday swim lessons. And Eve - hidden in her shed until it was time to fetch Saffron.

Indigo, at only four, was already quite independent. He was keen and observant; he knew how to get his cereal by himself and could even warm his own beans on the stove if he had a tall enough chair. Though Saffron was his best friend (and furthermore, his designated partner in crime), Indigo was content to roam the house on his own, becoming lost in a world where the mounds of forgotten items became forgotten cities or an ocean or an enchanted forest.

Today they were mountains (Bill had not been home for some time so the stacks were growing considerably). Indigo hiked up and down from valley to summit, occasionally pocketing a rare find - a watch, a small plastic car, an envelop in which Indigo had discovered three large teeth, pulled out roots and all (startling yet fascinating). He was on the upstairs balcony when he found Old Panda.

Saffron had snatched him away almost immediately upon returning home from swim lessons, hugging him up tightly against her as she proclaimed her love for the toy she had abandoned. But sure enough, only hours later, Indigo found him under the kitchen table, smelling slightly of chlorine.

Old Panda became Indigo's companion on his once solitary journeys, only to have his head nearly severed by a twisted clothes hanger poking out from a pile of old sweater when the pair had been fleeing from a band of rowdy pirates.

Old Panda was not forgotten, but he was not quite so loved in his fragile state any longer. Scratched plastic eyes, matted discolored fur, and a head the drooped pitifully as he sat patiently atop a box near the fridge.

XXX

Following the infamous garden burial and hasty retrieval, Old Panda did not look so old after Bill had mended and washed him.

Caddy was the one to find him again, peeking out from a corner of wilting flowers that had been sent ages ago when Rose had not been quite so permanent. Caddy smiled down at the bear as she picked him up, dusting a few crumpling petals off his head. A flash of pink and white assaulted Caddy's memory but it was gone before she could place it.

"We should give him to the firework baby," stated Indigo, startling Caddy, as he had a habit of appearing out of nowhere.

"Rose," corrected Caddy, finally at ease with addressing her by her name, because everyday that she was home she began to feel more and more permanent.

Rose, just barely two months, was still extremely tiny, but she had a look of life that she had lacked when she had been attached to so many tubes and wires. She had a bubbly smile and a mischievous look in her large blue eyes. Now, she was in her swing in the parlor, with Eve napping peacefully on the couch beside her. Eve snored contently, and Caddy handed Old Panda to her little brother, bestowing him the honors.

"Old Panda is very special," Indigo explained, placing the bear beside a gurgling Rose. "To all of us," he added. "And now it's your turn."

Rose's tiny hand reached for the bear, yanking it toward her, because she was very strong for being so very small indeed.

XXX

Old Panda's head was nearly off again, but that was on account of Rose's sharp and eager teeth.

"Is there anything she won't put in her mouth?" asked an exasperated Bill, yanking a rusty butter knife away from Rose's grasp just in time.

Rose shrieked. "Daddy, Daddy give it back!" But he didn't and Bill did not escape before earning a few teeth marks on his arm as well.

Caddy, aged fifteen, (and on boyfriend number four) entered the kitchen just then, back from the cinema looking quite smiley.

"Did you have nice time?" asked Indigo dutifully, aged nine and master cook, placing a pan of fried chicken on the table.

"Did he snog you?" Saffron butted in, eyes flashing as Caddy groaned.

"What's this one called again?" asked Rose, dragging Old Panda across the kitchen floor, his beady eyes clinking softly against the tiles.

"Milton," answered Caddy. Saffron snorted. Indigo set the plates, and Rose wiggled her way into Caddy's lap.

"Yuck, that's not a proper name," stated Rose plainly, fitting Old Panda into her own lap.

"Well, our names are hardly proper," defended Caddy, a bit indignant and protective, as she always was about her boyfriends until they were ready to be dumped.

"Well, did he snog you?" Saffron persisted.

Caddy blushed. "A bit. And it was very nice but also a bit wet," she added, anticipating Saffron's next question.

Bill entered again shortly, a bit suspicious of Indigo's cooking as usual but he soon settled down in his seat and took a plate. Even Eve emerged from her shed, and the conversation of snogging and poorly named boys was soon forgotten as they filled their stomachs.

"Indy," asked Rose, absentmindedly wiping her greasy fingers against the bear's fur. "Tell me again about when you and Saffy buried Old Panda in the garden."

"Well," began Indigo, wiping his mouth on his hand before Bill could pass him a napkin. "You were just a baby - but even just barely because of all the tubes and wires-"

"Because I had a hole in my heart," Rose interrupted, quite proud of this fact.

Caddy smiled as Indigo continued the tale, remembering that fateful autumn when she was quite certain she wouldn't survive her rapidly changing life as the genie spun the world on his finger. But it had somehow brought them all here, and she hugged Rose a little tighter against her, and for a moment she could've sworn she saw Old Panda's eyes twinkle.


End file.
